Series:
Ephesians
Title:
Nurture, Chastening and Admonition of the Lord
Text:
Ephesians 6: 4
Date:
December 21, 2014
Place:
SGBC, New Jersey
Ephesians 6: 4: And, ye fathers, provoke not
your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the
Lord.
This
exhortation is easy to misunderstand. It speaks of how we are to discipline our
children. When chastening, “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.” It
means do not be unreasonably severe. Do not chasten in anger. It will provoke
the child to anger, to throw off the yoke altogether. In Colossians, he adds,
"lest they be discouraged." (Col 3:21).
But
there is something more to it than a warning against being severe. He says, “But
bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” There are three words
here that we must understand. First, “bring up” means “nourish them”—love and
cherish the child. Secondly, in the phrase, “in the nurture of the Lord”, the
word “nurture” means “chastening.” It is translated “chastening” in Hebrews 12.
So he says, “Bring up—nourish, love and cherish—in the chastening of the Lord
or the same way the Lord chastens us. Thirdly, “and in the admonition of the
Lord” means “to call their attention to and fix their mind upon the Lord and
his word.” So as we nurture in the chastening of the Lord we are to turn the
mind of our child to the word of the Lord, using the scriptures.
So
these three words will make up our divisions. Our subject is the “Nurture,
Chastening and Admonition of the Lord.”
Our focus will be how the Lord does this to us, his child. The Lord
brings the child he loves to obedience, not by merely giving us his law then
punishing us for breaking it; but the Lord loves and cherishes his child as he chastens
us from error and fixes our mind and affections on Christ, teaching us the
truth of the gospel.
THE NURTURE OF THE LORD
First,
we will consider how the Lord nurtures his child—Ephesians 6: 4: “Ye fathers,
provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up.” Again, the word “bring
them up” would be better translated “nurture them—love and cherish them to
obedience.”
The
exhortation is addressed to “ye Fathers.”
It applies to fathers and mothers. But the father is head of the house
because God is the Father of his children; Christ is the Everlasting Father of
every child in his house. When God our Savior is our Husband, he is the best of
husbands—“he gave himself for the church;” when the Lord is our Friend, he is
the best of friends—“he sticks closer than a brother;” and when the Lord is our
Father he is the best of fathers.
God the
Father loved his children from eternity by his grace without a cause in us. The
way he “brought up”—nurtured, loved and cherished his children—is he loves us
in his Son, Christ Jesus. He first loved and cherished his only begotten
Son—choosing him, choosing to glorify him, choosing to give him an inheritance.
(Is 42: 1) Then he loved and cherished his elect by choosing and loving us in
his Son. He loved and cherished his children by entrusting us to his Son.
Brethren,
there could be no greater way for us parents to nurture our children than to do
as God our Father did with his children in eternity, entrust them to God’s Son,
the Lord Jesus Christ. That is how God our Father nurtures us. He entrusted us
to his Son, “That we should be to the praise of [God the Fathers’] glory, who
first trusted in Christ.” (Eph 1: 12)
The Lord Jesus—our Everlasting Father—nurtured us by being
merciful and gracious to us while we were in our unrighteousness. From the time
we fell in Adam, we deserved to receive the fierce anger of our Father. Instead,
each elect child received mercy and grace. He reserves mercy for his children.
Our Everlasting Father nurtured us by being longsuffering
toward his children. He saw all our rebellion, heard all our blasphemous talk,
knew all our sinful thoughts, yet he suffered our manners a long time. Children,
you may not realize but your parents see much more of your sin than you
know. Why don’t they kick you out of the
house? They nurture and cherish
you—bring you up—with much longsuffering because they know how longsuffering
Christ has been to them.
Our Everlasting Father nurtured us by being abundant in
goodness toward his children. As hateful as we were to our Father, yet he
continued to provide us with life, with food, shelter, clothing, protecting us
from death after death. Parents, when our children complain about the food we
provide, the clothing etc, try to remember how we murmured against our Lord
Jesus while dead in our sins—yet he nurtured us, loved and cherished us—abundant
in goodness.
Our Everlasting Father bore our ignorant religious talk concerning
him. We were once that child who thought we were smarter than Christ’s
preacher; smarter than Christ’s faithful fathers and mothers. When our children
exalt the vain idol of their imagination, remember how Christ bore with our
vain thoughts concerning him. He did it because he loved us and had an end
determined for us.
Our Everlasting Father nourished us by laying down his
life for us.
1 John
4: 9: In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his
only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10: Herein is
love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be
the propitiation for our sins. 11: Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also
to love one another.
Fathers, there will be times when our children act like
they do not love us. Remember: “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that
he loved us.” We were rebellious, prodigal sons, who took everything our Father
gave us and said, “God is not my Father!” We lived in riotous living as “fornicators,
idolaters, adulterers, effeminate, abusers of ourselves with mankind, thieves,
covetous, drunkards, revilers, extortioners.” God says such “shall not inherit
the kingdom of God. And such were some of you…”(1 Cor 6: 9-11) But “Herein is
love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be
the propitiation for our sins.” He put away our sins; he made us righteousness
in him; he interceded for us; he presented us to the Father. “Beloved, if God
so loved us, we ought also to love one another.” (1 Jn 4: 10)
Brother Henry Mahan’s advice to me when I moved here was,
“They have been dealt with in severity and harshness enough; love them to
Christ.” So our text says, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to
wrath: but bring them up”—love them to Christ.
THE CHASTENING OF
THE LORD
Secondly, we will consider how the Lord chastens his
child—Ephesians 6: 4: “ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but
bring them up in the nurture…of the Lord.”
The word “nurture” is translated in Hebrews 12 as “the chastening of the
Lord.” Let’s read the passage in Hebrews 12.
Hebrews
12: 5: And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto
children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when
thou art rebuked of him: 6: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and
scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7: If ye endure chastening, God dealeth
with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8: But
if ye be without chastisement, whereof all [God’s children] are partakers, then
are ye bastards, and not sons. 9: Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh
which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much
rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10: For they
verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our
profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. 11: Now no
chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward
it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised
thereby. 12: Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;
13: And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned
out of the way; but let it rather be healed.
While we were dead in sins, walking in our ways, we were
out of God’s way, Christ the Way. We
were not partakers of Christ’s holiness, not partakers of his divine nature so
we were without that holiness without which no man shall see God. We were
without life, Christ the Life.
Therefore,
when the time of love came that he would give us a holy nature and bring his
child into the Way, our faithful heavenly Father began to chasten us and rebuke
us, to scourge us. Scourge means God began to spiritually spank his child. He
did it for our profit, to bring us into union with him, to make us new
creatures, to form Christ in our hearts, to make us partakers of his divine
nature, to bring us into subjection to him.
But no
chastening is pleasurable while the child is being chastened but grievous. When
the Lord began to correct us, it was grievous, so we cried and tried to rebel.
Why? What made our heavenly Father’s chastening so grievous to us? Chastening
is grievous because God crosses the will of his child.
“The
carnal mind is enmity against God; it
is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.” (Rom 8: 7) The law or
word of God is the will of God. But our will was for salvation to be by our
will. From divine election, to the new birth, to the righteousness of the law, to
faith and repentance, to sanctification, to perseverance, to good works, the
depraved will is for these things to be by our will. This is why “the preaching
of the cross is to them that [are] perish[ing] foolishness.” (1 Cor 1: 18)
Therefore,
God our Father had to chasten us, using the rod of the gospel. “Foolishness is
bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it
far from him.” (Pro 22: 15) God’s rod is
his word. He used his law to discipline us. His law brought us to see there is
no good in us. It revealed our sin unto us. (Rom 3: 19-20)
We were grieved but because God loved and cherished his
child, he would not let our crying stop him from chastening us. As God declares in his word, “Chasten thy son
while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” (Ps 19: 18) Brethren,
when our children cry at our correction, it is because our will crosses their
will. But true love will not allow their
crying to stop us from chastening them.
Follow the chastening wherewith God chastened us, his children, “For whom
the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” (Heb
12: 6)
This
world hates God’s order and God’s word. Depraved sinners think they are smarter
than God. Here is an example. These days, the world says it will warp the child
if you spank them. God says, “Withhold not correction from the child: for if
thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the
rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” Pro 23: 13-14) It means if you correct
a child with the rod then it will prevent the child from dying and shall
deliver his soul from hell. It is not
speaking of abusing a child. In our text, he is teaching us not to abuse the
child, “provoke not your children to wrath.”
God never punishes his child, he chastens his child. God
has punished his children already in the person of Christ, our substitute.
Christ endured the full penalty for all our sin. The justice of God can ever
exact again that which Christ has paid. God never punishes his child; we are
never brought before God as our Judge. God
chastens us as our Father who loves his child.
Again
and again, God shows that this world’s teaching is totally wrong. He shows us
that chastening a child will not harm the child. God scourges every son he
receives. If our heavenly Father spared the rod, we would have been spoiled by
our sins and our vain way. If he let our tears stop him from chastening us, we
would have died and ended up in hell.
Understand this. God calls believing parents to correct;
not to punish our children. The parent who punishes his child exercises revenge;
the parent who corrects his child in the chastening the Lord teaches, exercises
love and affection. It is not pleasant at the time (it is not supposed to be)
but when God blesses his chastening, it will provoke reverence and heart-obedience
to God the heavenly Father and his Son, Christ Jesus. If God blesses our
chastening of our children, after the parent chastens the child it shall
produce reverence and heart-obedience from a child to the parent. Even the
parent receives edification in his own heart as much, if not more, than the
child.
ADMONITION OF THE LORD
There
is one more thing involved which is critical to this fruit being produced. It
is the admonition of the Lord—Ephesians 6: 4: “ye fathers, provoke not your
children to wrath: but [nurture, love and cherish them] in the [chastening of
the Lord, as the Lord does you, his child] and [in the] admonition of the Lord.”
The
Lord did not merely chasten us, but as he chastened us from our will and way,
he taught us the word of the gospel, fixing our hearts and affections on him. This
is the admonition of the Lord.
As the
Lord chastened us from our sin, he also taught us the truth concerning our
sin. He taught us by the word of the
scriptures, through the preaching of the gospel, that sin is not only in our
acts of rebellion; but in our best deeds, in our hearts, our nature. Our
heavenly Father taught us our sin is against God and his Christ. He convinced us our chief sin was calling God
a liar by not believing on his Son.
1 John
5: 10: He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself: he that
believeth not God hath made him a liar; because he believeth not the record
that God gave of his Son.
John
16: 8: And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of
righteousness, and of judgment: 9: Of sin, because they believe not on me.
In our
text, he says, do not punish your child; but do not even simply chasten your
child. Rather, when a child needs correction, as we do so, it is a perfect time
to teach them from God’s word something of what sin is. Teach them that sin is against
God and his Christ. He says to nurture and cherish our child is to include
admonition in our chastening.
Also, as
our heavenly Father loved and cherished us in chastening us, admonishing us
with his word, teaching us righteousness, he taught us that our works, which we
thought was righteousness, was no righteousness at all. Our outward obedience fell
short of God’s glory because of the sinfulness of our hearts. The Holy Spirit
convinced us that the righteousness of God is his Son, the Lord our
Righteousness. He convinced us that Christ is the righteousness of God,
teaching us that after Christ purged the sins of his people, God received him
to his right hand because God is satisfied with his one offering.
John
16: 8: And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of
righteousness, and of judgment: 9: Of sin, because they believe not on me; 10: Of
righteousness, because I go to my Father, and ye see me no more…
Our
text, exhorts us to not merely chasten our children, without giving them an
understanding of why. But love and chastening also involves using God’s word to
teach them something of righteousness. When a child has done that which is
inequitable it is a perfect time to teach them God’s word concerning God’s
righteousness. It is a perfect time to show them why Christ had to die and why
the Lord our Righteousness is now seated at God’s right hand.
Also, as
our heavenly Father lovingly chastened us, he fixed our hearts on Christ,
convincing us that the judgment of God is settled toward his people. He taught
us that he is just because he satisfied his own justice. He taught us that he justified
us because he laid down his own life for us. The Holy Spirit convinced us that
by Christ taking away all our sins, making us the righteousness of God, the
prince of this world is cast out—his head crushed—because those for whom Christ
died have no sin for Satan to accuse us to God.
John
16: 8: And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of
righteousness, and of judgment: 9: Of sin, because they believe not on me; 10: Of
righteousness, because I go to my Father, and ye see me no more; 11: Of
judgment, because the prince of this world is judged.
Our text,
exhorts us to love and cherish by not only turning our child from their error,
but use their breaking of our rules, to show them why Christ had to satisfy
justice; to show them that God is both a just God and a Savior; that “Mercy and truth are met together;
righteousness and peace have kissed each other.” (Ps 85:10) This is what
God did for us and what our faithful Father continues to do for us when he
chastens us.
THE EXORTATION TO
US
Now, let’s hear the exhortation which God gives to us.
First, he says, “ye fathers, provoke not your children to
wrath.” (Eph 6: 4) Of course, if we are hard and severe, this will provoke our
children to wrath and discouragement. But also, if we merely correct, without
teaching God’s word concerning sin, righteousness and judgment, then there is
no spiritual purpose, no spiritual lesson, no love, grace and truth. It is only
law. And though we are right as parents, to command our children’s obedience, yet
without admonition of the Lord, it is just one sinner demanding another sinner
submit.
But rather we are to “bring them up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord.” (Eph 6: 4) Christ makes his child willing in the day
of his power—to submit to him, reverence him, believe on him, obey him—not
merely by exercising his sovereign power and right as our Father. But rather,
Christ “brings us up”, making us to know his love for us, how he cherishes us. As
God our Father is chastening us from our vain way, teaching us our sin, why it
is vain, teaching us where it leads, he also admonishes us by fixing our hearts
and minds on his grace and mercy, his righteousness and truth, his glory in the
face of Christ Jesus.
A good
example of a faithful father is Abraham. He is the father of all who believe. Of
Abraham God said, “I know him, that he will command his children and his
household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and
judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of
him.” (Gen 18: 19) We who believe are children of Abraham. We were taught the
gospel by children of Abraham. We were taught the Way of the Lord, Christ
Jesus; to do justice and judgment by believing on the Lord Jesus. So by saving
us through the gospel, God brought upon Abraham the promised spiritual children
which God promised him. You see, why we are to include the admonition of the Lord
as we chasten our children?
We might think, “This sure will take a lot of time.” Yes,
that is why God said of his law, “thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy
children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when
thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”
(Deut 6: 7) How much more should we, who know the grace of God in Christ Jesus,
teach our children the good news of God’s grace with the same diligence!
Solomon’s
proverbs are to teach his child, “To receive the instruction of wisdom,
justice, and judgment, and equity.” (Pro 1: 3) Our Lord Jesus is our spiritual
Solomon. He makes faithful, loving, obedient children, not only by making us hear
his law and see our sin, but by making us behold our faithful heavenly Father, who
in wisdom, justice, judgment and equity, loved us and gave himself for us,
manifesting the righteousness of God. That is is how he gave us a new will, making
our will to be one with his and continues to do so.
Pray
that God would give us each grace to love our children, by chastening them from
every vain way, while teaching them of sin, righteousness and judgment all
taken care of in our great Lord and Savior, our great heavenly, everlasting
Father, Christ Jesus.
Amen!